I know, I know. It’s been a million years since I’ve written, and I say this almost every single time I write, but guys life has just thrown its punches this year.
I love writing, I truly do, but writing is usually where I pour all of my emotions out and, well, my emotions have been pouring themselves out at a regular progression in my every day life.
I have turned into a blubbering mess. I am growing from my emotional constipation and I’m still figuring out how to grow with it.
(No, I am not pregnant, thank you).
For those of you that do not know, my brother had a brain hemorrhage at the end of July (you can read that post here)
It happened two weeks after I walked down the aisle, a week and a half after I moved south, two days into moving into a new house, and 4 days right before I started my new job.
I am not expressing what was going on in my life to make you feel sorry for me, but rather for you to see how abrupt and unexpected this all was.
My brother has made some amazing progress, but he has been in the hospital/rehab since that day, and still has a long journey ahead of him.
I am truly amazed by his perseverance and dedication to continuously push himself. I’ve looked up to him my entire life, and I do even more so now.
I come writing to you about this now, because the Holiday season is upon us and I absolutely love the holidays. Yet, I sit here this year and think of how different it all is.
My husband and I were supposed to fly to NY this week to see my brother and celebrate with my sister for Thanksgiving, but the day before I was supposed to fly out I found out I had bronchitis and a wonderful 102.8 fever that did not want to quit.
We had to cancel our plans because I couldn’t risk getting anyone sick, or myself even more sick.
So there we were, absolutely no Thanksgiving food ready to go, unsure of whether our plane tickets could be refunded, and disappointed that we would not be able to celebrate with family.
I never realized that I had become a stickler for some sort of tradition, until all my usual traditions could not be filled this year. Bless my husband for doing his absolute best to take care of me and not arguing when I said bronchitis would not keep me from Black Friday Shopping and decorating for Christmas.
Through my woeful scrolls online, I stumbled upon this Holiday Bucket List that many people shared:
I think it is a very profound picture. It reminded me to stop and be present. I was able to remember that this was not only our first Thanksgiving as husband and wife, but it was also my first Thanksgiving with my husband, period. He was deployed last year, and the year before that we had only just begun dating.
So, I wrapped him in a hug. Gave love to my family up in NY. We didn’t donate food, but we sponsored a child for Christmas, so we bought his gifts this week. We made new memories together, and made a point to be a light this Holiday season.
Life will throw things at you left and right. The enemy is always right there, ready to pull you in, but God has a plan for us. We must find comfort in him, trusting that he will guide us through the chaos.
There has been a lot of growth in my life this year, some growth that I don’t quite understand yet, but I’m trusting that this is preparing me for what is to come.
Remember to love on each other this Holiday season. Not everyone is surrounded by happiness this time of year, and some people need an extra ounce of support, thoughtfulness, and kindness.
Until next time,